


The Kitten

by DisnerdingAvenger



Series: Engineering and Biochem [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships, Kittens, M/M, Multi, Other, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisnerdingAvenger/pseuds/DisnerdingAvenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simmons brings a kitten home to the Bus. Fitz hates kittens. May likes kittens. Skye thinks that kittens are just another techy device thingy. Ward doesn't know about the kitten. Coulson doesn't want the kitten. In short? Simmons loses the kitten. Silliness follows. Implied Fitz x Simmons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kitten

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely random and 100% silliness. My cat was meowing at me and I got inspired. Enjoy!

"We're not keeping it."

"But sir-"

"We're not keeping it."

"But sir, if you'd just listen-"

" _We are not keeping the kitten, Simmons._ "

Simmons followed Coulson down the spiral staircase, a pout firmly planted on her lips as she clutched the squirming little grey and white ball of fluff to her chest. They had stopped to refuel in New Mexico, and she had taken it upon herself to restock on a few food items at the market down the road. On the way there, she had encountered a box with a single little kitten in it, lost and alone. Of course, being the soft-hearted creature that she was, she had immediately brought it back with her to the Bus.

"But sir! It was all alone. He'll die if I just let him go!"

"In what way is it logical to have a kitten onboard? Tell me, and I might change my mind."

Smiling and standing up straighter, Simmons immediately launched into an explanation as the kitten continued to squirm.

"Well, say we need to disable an alarm system? Whereas none of us are small enough to crawl through ducts to get to the source, the kitten is just the right size and could disable it with his adorable little paws-"

"Oi!"

Pausing in her speech just as she had lifted the kitten's paw to demonstrate, Simmons looked up to find Fitz in the lab, huffing unhappily at her words, "I suggest getting a monkey for that, and you say it's ridiculous! Monkeys have a much higher intelligence level than cats-"

"Oh, how would you know?" she huffed in return, and Coulson cut them off before either could launch into a heated cats vs. monkeys debate.

"Guys! We're not getting a monkey, and we're not keeping the kitten. Simmons, you'll just have to find somewhere to leave it. Wheels up in an hour."

"But  _sir_ -!"

"No buts. Now go."

Simmons watched dejectedly as he walked back upstairs, her pout slowly returning, and she aimed a glare at Fitz once he was gone.

"Look at what you've done! I propose keeping a completely ordinary domesticated animal-"

"Monkeys can be domesticated!"

"-and then you go and bring up  _monkeys_  again and completely steal my thunder-"

"I didn't  _steal yer thunder_ ; I was stating a valid point!"

"-and now I'm going to have to leave this poor little baby somewhere all on his own and it's all your fault, Leo!"

"It's not-!" Fitz cut himself off with a huff, glaring down at the squirming kitten with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. 'Poor little baby' his arse; he'd had enough past experience with cats to last him a lifetime. He and Simmons shared a flat before coming to work for Coulson's dream team, and he knew all too well that this wasn't the first time she had proposed keeping a kitten she found in a dark alley somewhere. She'd done the same thing to him with one of the orange, feisty variety, and he had scars here and there on his back to prove just how much the thing had disliked him. He hadn't minded cats before Simmons decided to adopt said orange kitten, which she named Lithium, but afterward he began to sympathise with Ronald Weasley's hatred of Crookshanks. Cats were the embodiment of all evil.

Yet, she looked about ready to cry at the thought of having to give the thing up, and the only thing Leo Fitz hated more than cats was watching Jemma Simmons cry. It hurt him.

"Ah, bloody hell…" he muttered with annoyance, stalking toward the stairs, and she furrowed her brow as she sniffled.

"Where are you going?"

"T' vouch for yer stupid furball," Fitz grumbled as he walked, and a smile instantly tugged at Simmons' lips as she watched him go. He really was the best.

Once he was gone, she made her way into the lab with the kitten still squirming in her grasp, making sure the door was shut before she set him down on the ground.

"Yes, yes, you can come down now. I couldn't have you running about the Bus on your own, could I? But you ought to be safe in here."

Simmons smiled as the kitten mewed and went about exploring the lab floor, and she looked over her shoulder when she heard the doors open again with a familiar metallic  _whoosh_. Fitz wouldn't be back yet unless he'd changed his mind about the kitten, and Simmons smiled when Skye walked into the lab instead.

"Skye! What brings you down here?"

"Avoiding my SO," she said simply, walking over to one of the chairs and putting her head down on the table with a tiny groan. A grin pulled at Simmons lips and she shook her head, walking over to the other young woman.

"Is he working you too hard?"

"Do you know what he made me do yesterday?" Skye asked, looking up, shaking her head and continuing in a dramatic tone, "He made me hit that stupid punching bag, like, a hundred times in one minute. I was off by like five hits, so he made me start over! I was punching that punching bag for  _over an hour_ , because apparently my form is wrong, and I still feel like my arms are going to fall off."

She released another little groan and put her head down on the table once again, and Simmons released a tiny laugh, shaking her head.

"Would you like something for that?"

Skye peeked up Simmons at her words, a look of curiosity shining in her eyes. "What, you invented some sort of anti-serum for arm pain?"

Scoffing out a genuine laugh this time, Simmons shook her head, riffling through the medicine cabinet across the room before bringing over a bottle and setting it down in front of Skye.

"Oh, absolutely; it's called Tylenol. A real medical breakthrough, if you ask me; I could make a fortune off of it."

"Oh, ha-ha," Skye huffed, tanking two of the pills and shaking her head, and Simmons grinned, but her expression quickly slipped a second later. Confused, Skye followed her gaze to the open lab door, and became downright baffled when Simmons dropped to her knees and started crawling around.

"Um… did you lose a-"

"Kitten!" Simmons shrieked. "I've lost the kitten!"

"Kitten?" Skye asked, watching the biochemist spring to her feet and dart out of the lab, and she frowned, hurrying to follow her. "Hey! Wait! What kitten? Is that a codename for some techy device thing-?"

"No! I've lost a kitten! A real, living, breathing kitten!"

"And… why did you have a kitten?" Skye inquired as Simmons frantically searched, looking under and in Lola and the other cars, growing more frantic by the second.

"He was lost and alone, and he would have died, and… oh, Skye! What do I do?"

"What's the big deal? Relax. It's just a kitten."

"No! No, it's not! I don't do this sort of thing; if I'm assigned a task, then I do it. My task was to watch the kitten and now I've  _lost_  the kitten!"

"So you stall," Skye stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You stall until you find it."

"Oh, you've heard how good I am at lying!" Simmons said anxiously, "You do it! Stall for me? Please, Skye,  _please_ …"

Skye watched the scientist all but beg, her hands clasped beneath her chin as her eyes bugged wide with panic, and she sighed, shaking her head.

"Fine; but who, exactly, am I stalling?"

"Anyone!" Simmons called as she bolted up the stairs to search up above. "Don't let anyone know I've lost the kitten!"

… . … . … . … . … . …

Skye still didn't fully understand why Simmons had the kitten to begin with, other than that it was lost and all alone, and she supposed that was likely a good enough reason given who she was dealing with. Jemma Simmons wasn't the type of person to just give it some food and continue on; no, she was a big enough softie that she would have to bring it home.

So, she was stalling; stalling while the woman who lacked even the most basic lying skills searched high and low for the little ball of fluff that she had lost- and, of course, the first person who she encountered was the very person she'd been hoping to avoid for the day.

"There you are; I've been looking for you all over. What are you doing down here?"

Skye, resisting the urge to groan with exasperation, continued swiveling around in the chair she was seated upon in the lab to divert anyone who should come looking for Simmons.

"I'm guarding the lab. Our resident geeks had stuff to do."

Ward furrowed his brow, sensing that it was just an excuse to get out of training for the afternoon.

"Who are you guarding the lab from, exactly?"

_Shit._

"Coulson and May," she blurted out, and it wasn't even a lie; that was mainly who she was on the lookout for, because they were the two who Simmons would be in the most shit with if they discovered she'd let a cat loose on the plane. "FitzSimmons are developing something new- something big. They want it to stay a surprise."

That's gonna go over well with them. Oh, well; this was Simmons problem, not hers.

Ward still looked apprehensive as he walked over to the trainee agent.

"And they let you in on the big surprise?"

"Oh, yeah," Skye said, nodding enthusiastically, "Me and the science babies? We're tight! They tell me everything. We're practically besties; I've even painted Simmons' nails and done Fitz's hair."

Ward scoffed at that, but he couldn't actually disagree, because it was true. It had been during one of the nights where May and Coulson were out during a refuel, so the Bus was left to the mercy of the younger agents. Ward had been the responsible one, lingering outside the lab to make sure nothing caught on fire or exploded, but the other three hadn't even done anything of the sort; although, Fitz's hair had been fairly close to a disaster. It's amazing what you could convince that guy to do if you got him drunk enough.

"A big surprise, then…"

"Yup."

"And you'll be guarding the lab all day?"

"Until I'm relieved of my guard dog duties," she stated, thrilled that this little task had just gotten her out of her afternoon training; at least, she hoped.

Ward heaved a heavy sigh, and surprised Skye by dropping down into the chair beside hers.

"We might as well discuss tactics and your form, then."

Skye repressed a groan.

… . … . … . … . … . …

"So, what you're telling me is that having a kitten onboard would be useful because it would be  _a secret weapon?_ "

Coulson couldn't believe what he was hearing. Of all the people on board, he'd thought Fitz to be the most rational; minus his desperation to bring a monkey onto the team. Yet, here he was, standing on the other side of the agent's desk, nodding enthusiastically as he continued his ridiculous explanation.

"Oh, yes, sir; have you seen the eyes on those things? Big, adorable kitty-cat eyes; not even the scariest of felons can resist 'em. A guy pulls a gun on you? No problem! Just whip out the kitten and they'll be just as stunned as if you'd shot 'em with the Night-Night gun."

It sounded ridiculous even to Fitz's ears, but he looked to be utterly convinced of his statement. Of course he did; he'd do just about anything for the sake of Jemma Simmons. It was a weakness, really.

"You're saying that, by pulling out a kitten, they'll decide not to shoot me?"

"Well, nobody would shoot an innocent little kitten, sir," Fitz stated, and that he genuinely believed. Nobody could be that cold hearted. Shooting a kitten would be like shooting Simmons; abominable. They were both too little and adorable to harm.

"And you would have the means to transport a kitten with us on a mission?" Coulson asked, and Fitz nodded enthusiastically.

"It'd take me two days, maybe two n' a half; I could design a little kitten sized bulletproof vest with a harness, so that you could strap it right onto your own, and-"

"Fitz."

"-Yes, sir?"

"Did Simmons put you up to this?"

The engineer blushed at the question, shaking his head and clearing his throat.

"No, sir, I just-"

"Fitz."

"Yes. But not really; I offered. You see, she was crying, and I hate to see her cry, and I just thought that maybe, if I talked to you…"

Sighing, the older agent rapped his fingers on the top of his desk.

"Would you really be able to care for a kitten onboard? Without it complicating and getting in the way of your work?"

"I'm sure Simmons could, sir; she's a regular mother hen, that one. You've seen the way she is with everyone, cooking meals and insisting on weekly checkups; a kitten would be no trouble for her."

Deliberating for a few more moments, Coulson eventually waved him away.

"Alright, fine; she can keep it. But if it becomes too much of a hassle, then it's gone. Understood?"

Fitz wasn't sure why he was smiling so much; he didn't want the cat to begin with. But he was still happy about the older agent's response.

"Absolutely; yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

… . … . … . … . … . …

_Mew._

May frowned, her stoic gaze drifting away from the window in front of her as she focused on piloting the plane to their next destination. They'd only been in the air for about twenty minutes and already something appeared to be off.

_Meeew._

What  _was_  that?

Upon hearing the sound again, she saw it; there, crawling up onto the chair beside hers, was a tiny grey and white kitten; a  _kitten_ , of all things. May rolled her eyes, but the ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. A secret? She'd loved cats as a little girl. Considering all that the thing appeared to be doing was curling into a ball on the chair and going to sleep, it wouldn't hurt to leave it be… for a little while.

She could find out why the hell there was a cat in her cockpit later.

… . … . … . … . … . …

"Here, kitty kitty kitty… Oh, come on, now, where are you? Come out, come out, please, kitty kitty…"

Simmons was now crawling around on the floor in the lounge, looking under and behind couches, and she'd just been glancing under a table when Fitz's voice reached her, causing her to whack her head off of the glass surface and give a little whimper of pain. Before she could blink, he was on his knees beside her, helping her out from beneath the table and examining her head.

"What were you doing under there?"

"Nothing, I was-  _Fitz, I'm fine._ "

Pushing his hands away from her head, she rubbed it with one of her own as she straightened out enough to sit down on one of the couches. Fitz, rather baffled, remained where he was kneeling on the floor.

"Where's the-?"

"I lost him."

She looked so dejected when she said so that Fitz's reprimand caught on his tongue. Instead, he shifted to his feet and sat down beside her.

"How'd you lose him?"

"I went into the lab after you went upstairs, and I made sure that the doors were shut before I let him down, but then Skye came in and distracted me by complaining about Ward and her sore arms-"

"How did Ward make her arms sore?"

Simmons shot Fitz a glare and he shrank back, blushing and clearing his throat.

"Right, sorry… You were saying?"

"She distracted me, and I didn't realize she'd left the doors open. The kitten got out, and I haven't the slightest clue where he got to. Oh, Fitz, what if something terrible has happened to him?"

Her lip wobbled at the thought, and Fitz wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Now, come off it; nothing bad has happened to him. The only place where something bad could happen to him  _is_  the lab, Jemma; all the chemicals and what-not. I'm sure he's just crawled off somewhere to hide and sleep-"

"What's the problem?"

Both of the scientists jumped at the sound of Coulson's voice, and Simmons' eyes grew as wide as saucers with horror. Oh, she was done for.

"Problem, sir? There's no problem. I was just… telling Simmons your decision regarding the cat," Fitz stalled, and Simmons did her best to keep her expression from turning to one of confusion. He hadn't even mentioned what Coulson had said yet.

"I see. You don't look very pleased, considering I agreed to let it stay," he said to her, and Simmons squeaked. Fitz blushed at the look of confusion Coulson threw him.

"I… ehm… hadn't exactly gotten to that part yet."

Nodding slowly, Coulson furrowed his brow.

"Where is it, anyway?"

"Where's what, sir?" Simmons asked in a futile attempt at stalling. This is what Skye was for. Oh, where  _was_  she?

"The kitten," Coulson stated, and all three heads turned when the sound of May's voice travelled through the room.

"This kitten?"

FitzSimmons both froze and Coulson looked between both them and May with a lack of clarity. The pilot had the kitten in her arms, and it looked much more content there than it had when it was squirming in Simmons' earlier. Evidently it had tuckered itself out exploring the Bus, and Simmons simply sagged with relief upon seeing that Fitz had been right and he was perfectly fine.

"That's the one," Coulson confirmed, watching as she carried it across the room and handed it over to Fitz, who took it hesitantly; to his surprise, it didn't try to maul him like Lithium so frequently had. Instead, it curled up in his lap and went back to sleep. A fraction of a smile tugged at his lips.

"I borrowed him for a while," May covered, having heard the obvious tension in the room before she entered, and Simmons genuinely gaped at her. Luckily Coulson didn't notice; he was too busy staring at May.

"You borrowed the kitten?"

"I like kittens," she stated plainly, her expression as stoic as ever, and Coulson wasn't sure what to say.

"Huh," he finally managed after a few moments, glancing between the scientists with the kitten and the pilot who had returned him. Things on this plane were never anything if not surprising. "Alright, then… carry on."

He headed back to his office afterward, casting one last curious look at the three before he went. Once he was certainly gone, May glanced between FitzSimmons and the kitten.

"Don't lose it again," she told them simply, and both nodded with a chorus of, "Yes ma'am."

Once May had retreated as well, Simmons turned her gaze to her partner.

"When were you going to tell me Coulson agreed to let me keep it?"

"I… well, that's where I was going when I saw you under the table," he said a bit awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as his other hand lightly toyed with the sleeping kitten's fur.

"What did you say to him? He was solidly against it when I asked before."

Fitz blushed, keeping his eyes trained on the kitten in an attempt to avoid her gaze.

"I… I told him that a kitten could be useful, and that a felon wouldn't want to shoot if he saw it, and that I could build a little kitten bulletproof vest with a harness and that you would take good care of it, because you're good at takin' care of things, and I didn't want to see you cry so…"

Unsure of how to continue, the engineer cleared his throat, his cheeks bright red at this point, and Simmons' lips quirked up in a little smile. Oh, he  _was_  adorable when he was flustered. Leaning over, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, which only made him blush further.

"Thank you, Leo."

"Yer welcome, Jemma…"

He cracked his own little smile despite his embarrassment, continuing to pet the kitten. Maybe having one wouldn't be such a bad thing, after all.


End file.
